Jokes

[Dark Strikes BAck]

What kinda of jokes you got?
Why can't you play Uno with a group of Mexicans?? Because they'll steal all the green cards
What did God say when he saw the first black person? SHIT!I BURNT ONE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[Dark Strikes BAck]

thousands more at http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/

[Master]

im not gunna lie, those jokes are pretty funny

[Dark Strikes BAck]

ikr!!

[mr.saturn]

How do you know there is a job opening at the post office?

When the flag is at half mast.

[BiLlIsTiC]

This is priceless.


A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son
playing with his new electric train set in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You bastards who want
off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you bastards who are
getting on, get on now, 'cos we're going on down the tracks'.

The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We don't use that kind of
language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there
for TWO HOURS.
When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use
nice language.'

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with
his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say,
'All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take
all of your belongings with you.
We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a
pleasant one.'

She hears the little boy continue,

'For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand
luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train.
We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.'

As the mother began to smile, the child added..........

'For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see
the cranky bitch in the kitchen.

[Dark Strikes BAck]

hahahaha!!!!!!!!! that was hillarious

[star]

This one is great...

Whats the difference between santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three Ho's Ba HA HA HA!

HAHAHA

[Master]

LMAO, thats amazing! xD

[BiLlIsTiC]

ahahhahahahhah 

[Silent Killer]

yo mama is like a door knob every1 gets their turn

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yo mama is so fat when she steps on the scale it shows her phone number
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yo mama is so fat she went on a plane and the plot said this plane only holds 100021 pounds you need to get off
_________________________________________________________________________________
you mama is so fat when she went to japan every1 pointed and screamed Godzilla!!!!!!
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hope you liked it




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[barconcern@hotmail.com]

A blind guy walks into a bar.
He sits down, orders a drink.
The blind man says to the bartender, 'Wanna hear a great blond joke?'
The bartender says 'Wait a minute here.'
'Before you tell this joke, I just want to let you know.
'The person to your left, is a gorgeous tall woman, She's Blond'
'The guy to your right, a Black belt level jujitsu fighter, He's Blond'
'The bouncer, when you walked in, He's Blond.'
'And I, myself, am blond... are you sure you wanna tell this joke?'
The blind guy says, 'No never mind, i don't feel like explaining it four times.'

[Master]

LOL! how will they find a way to ridicule a massive amount of people next?

[Rosco]

Why did cavemen drag cavewomen by the hair after they 
clubbed them?





  Because if they drug them by their feet they would fill up with dirt  !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Foxy]

hehe nice jokes at that site =P