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Joke of the day

Started by Welshy, March 10, 2021, 05:05:50 AM

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Welshy

Man walks in to a bar.
What's the Wi-Fi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
OK, I'll have a Coke.
Bartender: Three dollars please.
There you go. So what's the Wi‑Fi password?
Bartender: "You need to buy a drink first." No spaces, all lowercase.

Swede


Welshy

#2
A bear walks into a restaurant.

He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled .................................................. cheese sandwich.

The waiter says, What's with the pause?

Whaddya mean? the bear replies. I'm a bear!

Welshy

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?"
"That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies.
After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?"
"Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."

Welshy

A duck walks in to a bar and says to the barman.
"Got any bread"
The barman says "No"
So the duck says "Got any bread"
The barman says "No"
The duck says "Got any bread"
The barman says "No"
The duck says "Got any bread"
The barman says "No"
The duck says "Got any bread"
The barman says "No"
The duck says "Got any bread"
Then the barman says "If you ask for bread one more time I'll nail your F*****G beak to the bar.
Then the duck says "Got any nails"
The barman says "No"
Then the duck says "Got any bread"

Welshy

My mind is like my internet browser.

19 tabs are open
3 of them are frozen and I've no idea where the music is coming from

M1LO

You missed 5 days? if your going to start a "Joke of the day" you bloody well better start delivering on that promise! Now get your act together and lets hope we don't have to speak in this manner again!   :tongue2:

Typical Welsh....  :cantlook:

And.... before I forget.... "sorry"  ;) (and I really really mean it this time)
"It is....what it is"

Welshy

Quote from: M1LO on March 19, 2021, 12:23:08 PM
You missed 5 days? if your going to start a "Joke of the day" you bloody well better start delivering on that promise! Now get your act together and lets hope we don't have to speak in this manner again!   :tongue2:

Typical Welsh....  :cantlook:

And.... before I forget.... "sorry"  ;) (and I really really mean it this time)

Is it because I is Welsh? (say it in an AliG accent)

p.s. Apology accepted

Welshy

Here's one for Milo

Sniper walks in to a bar.

Ooooof


Crowbar

M1LO

Im going to bide my time with this one....

I shall return in due course.... :gum:
"It is....what it is"

Welshy

Two horses in a bar having a drink and a chat when a dog walks in.

Dog goes to the bar and says. A pint of beer please barman.

One horse turns to the other and says.

Would you look at that. A talking dog.

Welshy

How do you confuse a troll?

Put three spades up against a wall and ask him to take his pick.

Welshy

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

M1LO

Quote from: Welshy on March 22, 2021, 03:24:31 AM
How do you confuse a troll?

Put three spades up against a wall and ask him to take his pick.

"Troll" would generally be substiuted with "Welsh man and or Scotsman or even Irishman, up in these parts  ;) so don't be shy welshy, we are all friends here, say it how you know it  :gum:

Enjoying the laughter mate, great job!

Wondering if we should include a "Milo's morning madness" selection of "British humour" What you think Welshy, do you think that idea should be unleashed upon these good folk of the -[EVIL]- Community  :cantlook:
"It is....what it is"

Welshy

Quote from: M1LO on March 23, 2021, 08:53:21 AM
Quote from: Welshy on March 22, 2021, 03:24:31 AM
How do you confuse a troll?

Put three spades up against a wall and ask him to take his pick.

"Troll" would generally be substiuted with "Welsh man and or Scotsman or even Irishman, up in these parts  ;) so don't be shy welshy, we are all friends here, say it how you know it  :gum:

Enjoying the laughter mate, great job!

Wondering if we should include a "Milo's morning madness" selection of "British humour" What you think Welshy, do you think that idea should be unleashed upon these good folk of the -[EVIL]- Community  :cantlook:

Go for it. We need a bit more humour here